Living your best life starts here.

Hey babe! Thanks for joining me here today.  This post is an extremely important one for me;  I’m speaking about something that has truly changed my perspective, my entire mindset, for the better and has served me so well since it entered my awareness.  It has transformed my life and I hope that it can positively impact you in the same way that it has me.

The phrase I’m talking about goes to show just how much power words can hold.  It was introduced to me by one of my meditation teachers a few years back as I was going through my meditation teacher training.  

I remember so vividly the shift I felt as she read it to the class.  I felt an instant shift in my mind, my perspective, my energy… and I felt completely empowered.  Having signed up for the MTT course as a way to deepen this self discovery journey I had been on for the past few years, having hit a plateau, hearing this phrase reignited my drive and desire for growth.  It felt like validation for the decisions I had made to improve my life and start my self discovery journey, and permission to kick it into high gear and keep going.  It was a sign that I had this power all along, and to stop ignoring it!  That I could, and should, live the life I dreamed of.

Credited to Bruce Lee, but after having done some research on the quote, found that there are versions credited to Laurie Buchanan and Tony Robbins, it goes like this:

“What you’re not changing, you’re also choosing.”

Hearing this made me think of the choices I had made recently, and the fact that they are mine to make, no one else's.  In my mind I formed a connection between choice and change, realizing that I had the choice, the power, the ability, to change if and when I wanted to.  This knowing felt like the floodgates had been opened; calling in so many opportunities and possibilities that I hadn’t even realized I’d been closed off to.  

I felt validated because I realized that this is exactly what I did a few years back before I was even familiar with the concept.  Back in 2021, I had reached a breaking point; My perspective on what was important was so distorted and left my priorities completely skewed.  I had become so burnt out at work, having felt this responsibility to my job, this obligation to do nothing but work because of the pressure put on by the pandemic, the company and, let’s face it, myself.  Over a decade of workaholism surmounting to the inevitable; putting an unmanageable workload ahead of my health, my wellbeing, everything.  

Around 8 months went by of trying to stay on top of the impossible job at hand, months of working at my desk from the time I woke up until I went to bed, not leaving my chair unless I had to use the bathroom, not eating healthy, definitely not exercising, and drinking way too much to settle down at night.  For months I pleaded with my manager for help, explaining that my team of 3 couldn’t possibly manage doing twice the workload in half the time, but to no avail.  Trying my best to still get it all done, keep as much pressure off my teammates as possible, I ended up developing an anxiety and panic disorder.  

It all came to a head when I had two anxiety attacks within one week, one leading to an asthma attack that forced me to take a few days off.  I was honest with my manager about what I had experienced, expecting compassion and some relief, thinking maybe now my requests for help would be taken seriously, I was instead told that everyone was feeling this way and nothing can be done.

Having my health issues dismissed and my burnout normalized led to an eye opening revelation.  

That ultimately, it wasn’t my manager’s responsibility to prioritize my health.  (And while yes, I COMPLETELY disagree with how the whole situation was handled, I believe that it goes to a whole systemic issue within corporate work culture, which is why I’m here, that’s not what we're focusing on today.)  

I realized, in that moment, that I had a choice.  And I had had one all along.  I could choose to keep going business as usual, as I was, as my manager expected, and continue to succumb to humanly impossible deadlines and put work ahead of everything else.  Or, I could stop that shit.  I could start prioritizing what was really important to me, and what truly needed my attention, which was my health.

I asked myself, why do I keep putting this job, this company, on top of my priority list when I was nowhere on theirs?

I’m sharing this with you because while the first time I had made a conscious choice to change something was after a breakdown, I don’t want you to have to come to the same realization at your rock bottom.  I want you to be aware of it now, hopefully before your circumstances reach such a drastic point.  I want you to know that no matter how little or how big, you have the power to change your situation.  You just have to choose to do so.

So how do we do that?  How do we make this actionable?

I’ve created a step-by-step framework to guide you through this that I call the Check In, Choose, Change Method.  I’ve also turned it into a worksheet that you can download and use as a resource! 

Here’s how it works:

Check In, Choose, Change Method:

STEP 1: Check In

The first step is understanding what is and isn’t working for you, what does and doesn’t serve you, what brings you joy and fulfillment and what doesn’t.  And the only way you can understand that is by cultivating self awareness.  I do this through a combination of mindfulness meditation and journaling, but there are many ways you can do this, including practices like yoga, working with a life coach, talking with loved ones.  You can do whatever method of self-reflection works for you, the important part is to become curious about who you are deep down; what do you desire, what do you value?  What do you envision for your life?  Question everything.  

Letting go of any judgments and outside influences, letting go of any limitations, imagining you could do and have anything in the world, reflect on what you truly feel deep down.  Be patient with yourself in finding the answers, this won’t happen overnight.  But the more you practice, the more you will learn about yourself, and you’ll begin to see patterns in your responses and get to know what is truly important to you.

Write down your values, your priorities, your joys, your dreams and desires.  Write down what you don’t want, what you don’t like and how you don’t want to live.  This is equally as important as what you do envision, and can actually be a really helpful starting point if you can’t find the words to describe what you do want.

Step 2: Choose 

The 2nd step is taking a deep, holistic look at your life, your reality as it stands in the present moment.  Take an audit of all aspects of your life and rate them on a scale of 1-10.  Review things like work, relationships, health, leisure.  

Review your scores and reflect on each one why each topic was given the rating it received.  Take note of your reflection in detail.  What were the circumstances that led towards a specific rating?  Are there certain circumstances that are out of your control?  Are there ways to improve certain scores?  Is there one section that rates extremely high, while others are low?

Using your scores and reflection as a guide, choose what areas need your attention.  If there is an area that rates highly, choose to continue doing what you have been doing that has led to satisfaction there.  Take the areas that have low scores and decide if you will choose to put energy towards improving them, and which, if any, take priority.

STEP 3: Change 

Use your learnings and your power to change the things within your control to improve your scores, and ultimately, your life.

Create a plan to change what you choose to.  Maybe you’ve found a small, easy change that can be done immediately - awesome! You probably won’t need a plan for that one.  However, bigger changes that’ll take time will benefit from having an actionable plan.  

For example, a big change that I’m currently working on is becoming a full time entrepreneur.  I am building a business that will allow me to leave the fashion industry as an employee and create the freedom to live the life I dream of.  This is not something I can do overnight.  I had to make a plan; I set a deadline and created a step-by-step roadmap.  This change was so big that I turned it into a goal.

OK, so that’s the method - 


Now, a block that may be coming up for you right now when looking at a change that big is that you’re in too deep.  Maybe you’ve been in a career for two decades and think it’s too late to change, that you’d have to start over, start from scratch.  And that is a totally valid hesitation.  But don’t let it stop there; that’s where most people turn around and end all further contemplation.  They think that because they had that thought pop up, it must be the truth.  So here’s my challenge for you - question it.  Is it actually true? Is it too late? Would you truly have to start over?  What does starting from scratch look like, and is that a negative thing? Or is it an exciting opportunity?  What would life look like if you kept going down your current path vs this one you’ve been dreaming of?  What is your happiness worth?  Ask all the questions, look at all the factors.  Make an educated decision, not an immediate one.

For me, I’ve been in the fashion industry for 17 years now.  I’m starting a business from “scratch” but I don’t see it as starting over.  I see it as a transition point.  I am taking everything I’ve learned these past 17 years and using it to guide me down this new path.  This path that I can see so clearly and know the risk is worth it because I can see how much more aligned my life will be, how I will be able to live the life I dream of, one of fulfillment, purpose, freedom, ease.  Which I know is not possible where I’m at currently.


And like I said, I can’t do this overnight.  I can’t just quit my job and give two weeks notice.  Financially I can’t afford to, but also I don’t want to do that to my team and the company I work for.  They have been a great experience for me, which I can’t say about a lot of the companies I’ve worked for in the past.  I want to give them ample time to set them up for my exit, help them find/train/transition the team for success, whatever that may look like, and I’m more than happy to be patient through that process.  So while this change will take time, I’m working on it everyday.  I’m taking the steps I broke down for myself in my roadmap to make it a successful, sustainable shift for all involved.  


This is something I’ve been thinking about for years, have been prepping for for years.  And I know that this change is going to allow me to live the life I want for myself, knowing that the current one I’m in will not.  Which is why I’ve chosen to make the change.


Now it’s up to you, starting with awareness.  What will bring you the most joy and happiness?  What does that life look like that you’d lead if there were no limitations?  What do you want?


That’s the beauty of this concept; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  You don’t have to change anything you don’t want to.  You have the power to choose.  You have the power to question anything you want to, and decide what is right for you.  Whether that is making the change or not.  The point is that you choose, you decide.


The more I let this principle guide me on my journey, the more drive I have to keep improving, to keep growing.  The more I am aware of what I desire and want changed, then choose to change it, the more self confidence and personal strength I build.  


 By living through this lens, I no longer settle, I strive. 

And so can you.  

Take your power back.  Create the life you dream of.  I believe in you.

xxChelsea

**download your free worksheet here!

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